It’s hard to believe it’s only been a year since I last aired my grievances. It feels like eight. Or 15. Or 50. Honestly, what is time anymore anyway? There is no question that the year 2020 was the absolute worst. And I know you know and I don’t need to remind you, but since it’s Festivus I will. After all, in the words of Frank Costanza, “I got a lot of problems with you people and now you’re gonna hear about it!”
1. Self-involvement
Have you noticed how every decision, action, and conversation in 2020 revolves around you? Or in my case, me? In an era of self care, self love, and self confidence, we have become downright self centered. My future. My work. My kids. My bills. My feelings. My opinions. My mental health. My next steps. My life.
Me. My. Oh my.
It seems anymore that no matter how in tune with others we think we are, none of us really give a shit about anyone or anything beyond our immediate bubble. Instead we think, How will (yada, yada, yada) impact me? How will (blah, blah, blah) better my life? How does (anything literally or figuratively) make me look?
We’ve been on this path for quite some time, but now that so many of us spend so much time alone we not only think about ourselves far too much we also talk about ourselves incessantly (in texts, on Zoom, on the phone, and in limited face-to-face conversations), too. And honestly, I wish I could say this also applies to you, but because all I can think about when you’re talking to me is me, I’m not really sure what you just said anyway.
2. Selfishness
Slightly different from self-involvement, selfishness in 2020 is the complete inability to take another person’s health, safety, and well-being into consideration all because you, like, really needed to get out of the house.
“But my freedoms!” you argue.
“I can’t live like this forever!” you say.
“I’m going crazy stuck in one place all day!” you scream.
While yes, all of these statements are technically true, exerting your freedom to sit unmasked inside a Starbucks all day while potentially spreading a deadly virus when you could be working from home still makes you an asshole.
Also, Starbucks coffee sucks.
(NOTE: If this last sentence is what pisses you off the most about this blog, see #1 above.)
3. The Absence of Mental Health Days
Pre-pandemic, every two or three months, I would take what I refer to as a basic bitch day to do whatever the hell I wanted. Sometimes I would schedule these days in advance to get my nails done or take a yoga class and sometimes the days would pop up unannounced as the result of a bad morning headache or cramps letting me know I needed to take some much needed time for myself. Sadly, these days, those days are no longer an option.
Now, the concept of taking a random Thursday off in advance seems foolish to both me and my colleagues because, in our case, we’re all working from home anyway. I mean, who are we fooling? I haven’t gotten my nails done in over a year and I’ll be damned if I take an in-person fitness class of any kind. What’s stopping us from finishing this one quick project or hopping on a quick Zoom call?
Furthermore, taking a day off because we’re just not feeling too hot is completely out of the question now that there’s a virus everyone automatically thinks we must have if we call in sick. Did the virus really need to include every unquestionable call-in-sick symptom? I never thought I’d see the day when even diarrhea was off the table. Employers never used to question diarrhea. Now they do.
4. Elbow Rubs as the New Handshake
Last year I wrote about my frustration with weak hugs and handshakes, never imagining the acts would be wiped out completely and replaced by a weird attempt to touch my elbow with a part of your arm that is neither your hand nor your shoulder.
Substituting the handshake and hug with a jabby elbow rub is by far the dumbest, most awkward concept we liberals have come up with thus far. For Christ’s sake, just don’t touch me at all.
5. Anxiety
I’ve always been a fairly nervous person, but I’m not sure I have ever experienced actual anxiety until this year. Living with constant guilt and worry has always been pretty normal for me, so when my apprehension escalated dramatically around mid-April I definitely took notice. I’m now uneasy and restless nearly all of the time and, as someone who likes to be in complete control and win all of my battles with either words, water, exercise, or alcohol, I’m starting to get pretty fussy that I can’t seem to get a handle on this.
But then, as I started writing this blog, I realized anxiety is what led to everything I’ve just said…
We are anxious about being forgotten, which is why we have become so self-involved.
We are anxious about not seeing or being seen, which is why we have become so selfish.
We are anxious about appearing professionally weak and unproductive, which is why we have not demanded more time away from work when we need it the most.
And we are anxious about not being touched, which is why we have invented the lamest form of physical affection to experience even the smallest bit of human connection.
Anxiety, you’re a real son of a bitch. Almost as bad, perhaps, as the virus that got us into this mess in the first place. And even though we may now have a vaccine to cure you, we can still work to become a bit less self-absorbed, a little less selfish, a little more attuned to putting our personal needs ahead of the professional, and a little more willing to give a simple fist bump instead of an awkward elbow in the New Year (seriously, guys, knock it off with the elbows).
One more thing…
The preceding grievances were written by a middle class, nearly middle-aged white woman who has remained gainfully employed for the entirety of the global pandemic (with the freedom to work from home). My husband also still has his job, and our son has transitioned back to in-person learning. Our family has hit a lot of rough patches this year, but none of them involve our health or our love for one another. For this, we remain eternally grateful.
