QUARAN-STREAMING

Being a responsible global citizen isn’t easy these days. We are called upon to give up sports for an extended period of time, wash our hands for an extended period of time, and stay quarantined with our families for an extended period of time. 

Some people have completely panicked. Others have hoarded all the toilet paper and milk. I, of course, have chosen to hoard the remote. In times of self-quarantine, the Resident Couch Potato knows just what you need to stream to help you forget about how truly screwed we all are….

1. The Outsider
HBO (Season 1, 10 Episodes) 81% on Rotten Tomatoes

This supernatural thriller is based on Stephen King’s novel of the same title. Jason Bateman stars in the series and also serves as one of the executive producers. While Bateman is the most recognizable actor, the show does boast a talented and veteran ensemble cast. Current Hollywood ”It” girl Cynthia Erivo also stars as the murder mystery’s main private detective. The role was initially scripted for a middle aged white woman, but Bateman insisted he wouldn't join the show’s production unless the producers brought Erivo on for this role. In it, she plays a private investigator with an almost supernatural ability to break down a crime scene. Bateman’s casting intuition was spot on because Erivo steals the scene anytime she’s on camera. Each episode leaves the viewer with a cliff-hanging revelation that makes this show very easy to binge. It’s suspenseful and well shot, and the music, lighting, and direction are really top notch.  The season finale is already over, so those of you new to the show could easily catch it all in a matter of days.  

3.5 out of 5 Rolls of Toilet Paper

2. Hunters
Amazon (Season 1, 10 Episodes) 64% on Rotten Tomatoes  

Jordan Peele executively produced this action drama that stars Al Pacino as a Nazi hunting mastermind in the late 1970s. Pacino’s character is a Holocaust survivor who has accumulated power and money since the fall of the Third Reich. His desire and thirst for retribution against the Nazis who confined and tortured him leads Pacino to amass an eclectic death squad who work as a team to identify, stalk, and assasinate Nazi war criminals. In truth, less than 2,000 Nazis were prosecuted during the Nuremberg Trials. Many Nazis fled to South America, and several were granted immunity here in the United States. The Hunters’ mission is to exact revenge. The show can come off as campy, and I worried at first that it would turn into a formulaic hour long drama, like The Black List or SVU. Slowly though, the underlying plot of the first season begins to unfold, and the storylines do get better later in the season. One downside is that it’s a bit choppy at times, and I had a hard time believing some of the performances. For instance, Josh Radnor, of How I Met Your Mother fame, plays a 70’s D-List movie star. I couldn’t get it out of my head that Ted Mosby was somehow mishmashed into this Nazi killer role. I fear Mr. Radnor is going to continue to experience that same “Ross'' effect that hindered David Schwimmer’s career for 20 years. There are times when Hunters is emotional and engrossing, and others when it’s a true struggle to stay with the plot. Pacino gives a decent performance, but his fake Yiddish accent is sometimes hard to buy. I honestly felt like some of the best performances came during flashbacks that were dramatizations of the horrors that the main characters experienced in the Nazi death camps. Overall a better than average show, but nothing transcendent or award winning in this production.   

3 out of 5 Gallons of Milk

3. Dracula
Netflix/BBC (Season 1, 3 Episodes) 71% on Rotten Tomatoes

This retelling of the horror classic is masterfully done by Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffatt. While the season is only three episodes long, each show has an average run time of 90 minutes. It is a similar structure to the BBC’s other hit show, Sherlock Holmes, that these two showrunners made famous with Benedict Cumberbatch starring as the ultimate sleuth. Dracula is given a James Bond-esque charm by veteran British actor Claes Bang. Since Bang is a new face to American audiences, it is really easy to allow him to attract you into his blood sucking trance. The showrunners based this remake on Bram Stoker’s classic horror novel, so the show also includes a Van Helsing character as the world’s last vestige of hope against the monster. The modern twist is that Van Helsing is portrayed as a she rather than a he. Stoker’s original Van Helsing was an old Dutch professor. Gatiss and Moffatt’s Van Helsing character is a sharp-tongued Dutch nun caught in a Transylvanian convent. She is Dracula’s intellectual equal and knows how to challenge and combat his beastly nature. The dialogue between Dracula and Van Helsing is captivating. Plus, the CGI and gore are really high-budget and believable. Like Sherlock, the show runners find a way to bring their title characters into modern times, and the show takes a decided twist after Episode 2. It’s a fantastic series that had me wanting to see more from these classic characters.

4.5 out of 5 Disinfectant Wipes

4. Devs
FX on Hulu (Season 1, 4 Episodes so far) 83% on Rotten Tomatoes

Another mind bending show from the programmers at FX, Devs is a psychological thriller set in present day Silicon Valley. Alex Garland, an author by trade who also wrote The Beach and the Danny Boyle directed zombie masterpiece, 28 Days Later, created Devs especially for the high budget cable network. (Sidenote: Garland also wrote the 2007 Sci-fi classic Sunshine if you’re looking for a great space movie!) 

Devs is a story that revolves around “Amaya,” a Google/Apple type big data company that is developing incredibly advanced AI and mind controlling software. The show features a great young cast anchored by Nick Offerman as the secluded and slightly maniacal CEO. Sonoya Mizuno plays the lead role of Lily Chan who suspects her boyfriend’s untimely “suicide” was actually foul play. Mizuno is not yet widely known by audiences, but her IMBD credits her with bit parts in Crazy Rich Asians, La La Land, and Ex Machina. If Garland’s new show has a type of feel to it, it would be closely aligned with the 2013 film Ex Machina. The sets are very futuristic and the soundtrack is methodical and entrancing. FX is releasing episodes weekly, with four episodes already up for streaming. Garland is a master of suspense, and this show has me deep diving into threads/blogs before each new episode.

4 out of 5 Loaves of Bread

5. Tiger King
Netflix (Season 1, 7 Episodes) 100% Rotten Tomatoes

After watching Tiger King, I have decided to socially distance myself from the state of Oklahoma. Permanently. I knew during my efforts to flatten the curve, my couch-potato ass was going to flatten while watching some trashy TV. To be honest, I have been watching pretty heavy shows lately, and the first two episodes of Tiger King gave me the lecherous laugh I needed. In it, Joe Exotic stars as the proprietor of an exotic animal farm in rural Oklahoma. He is a mullet styling, gun toting, gay polygamist who looks like he came straight out of a meth trailer… full of tigers. As the 45-minute episodes begin to reveal the real back stories of these big cat characters, I found myself hooked like a junky. Murder, fake wills, arson, and federal investigations, Tiger King is the type of documentary drama that made Netflix its mint with shows like 2015’s Making a Murderer. I’m not an animal lover; I’ve already got enough mouths to feed and anal glands to fret about. I can only imagine how a strong love for animals could add an entirely different effect to the show for those people who stress over animal confinement. This show is taking over social media with it’s unbelievable story line and its deplorable cast of characters. Use these five hours of TV to help you feel better about your own train-wreck-of-a-life while quarantined on the couch. 

5 out of 5 Paid Sick Days