COVID’S LOG

Welcome to COVID’s Log, a journal for TMYK family, friends, and contributors to share their advice, complaints, fears, well wishes, and thoughts on the new normal that is the COVID-19 pandemic. If you have content you’d like to submit, please email morganyouknow@gmail.com or send us a private message on Facebook and we will add your entry to our virtual apocalypse diary.

Friday, May 15, 2020
Anonymous

The top five things I hate about the apocalypse:

1. Hearing, “You homeschool anyway, so this is just like your normal life.”

No. As a part of regular homeschooling, we plan out-of-the-house activities every day of the week. Many of these activities involve drop-off, which gave me some alone time as a Mom. Contrary to popular belief, 99 percent of homeschooled kids do not live the sheltered, walled-off life that previous generations of conservative Christian homeschoolers did. We are NOT the Duggers.

Add to this that my kids are just as stressed by these changes, worried about their Dad who cares for COVID-19 patients, upset by this stupid virus in general, and miss their friends and family. It’s a shit show around here, too. Every kid is having a hard time concentrating and getting everything done, including those of us who were already homeschooling their kids.

2. Hair.

I have an undercut, and it needs to be fixed. Yes, a first-world problem, but it still sucks. My middle child looks like he’s in a 2000s punk pop band, and my youngest is dangerously close to a mullet. Thankfully, my oldest shaves his head, so I guess it could be worse.

3. Zoom dance classes and workouts.

As if Zoom meetings weren’t bad enough, try finding space in an average sized home for multiple children to take online dance/workout classes. Thank God the weather has (mostly) worked out in our favor. Most days I can set up a laptop outside and they can do their thing in the yard, but when it’s cold and raining, all bets are off. Sweet child, please push the dining room table to the other side of the room so your teacher isn’t watching me wash the 5 million cups the three of you somehow manage to use in one day.

4. Mental exhaustion.

Having a husband who works directly with COVID-19 patients is mentally exhausting for all of us. Sure, he’s showering at work, wearing provided scrubs, and doing everything possible not to bring it home, but still, what if? What if he has it? What if our kids get it?

I already have one kid with SPD, ADHD, and EPD, and he’s having an extra hard time having his life turned upside down. My youngest is an extreme extrovert, so instead of seeing her friends and others every day, she now needs to be touching someone at all times. I’m. Exhausted.

5. The Quarantine 15.

It’s real. Before the pandemic, we spent 10+ hours a week at a gym/dance studio. Even if I was just working and not working out, I was always moving from one side of a huge facility to the other and up and down the stairs for 2 to 3 hours straight. I would clock at least 5,000 steps in just those few hours. Now my kids have been into all the baking shows on Netflix, and my waistline does not appreciate it. Even if I get in all my steps and my cardio on my treadmill, I know I’m fighting a losing battle.

Friday, May 1, 2020
Kate Morgan

The top five things I hate about the apocalypse as a non-essential privileged white woman who still has a job. 

1. Zoom Calls

Seeing myself on a Zoom call reminds me of the way I used to see myself in the mirror at the salon before a cut and color. The only difference is that after a couple of hours at the salon I look like the version of myself I want to see. On Zoom, there is no stylist, and things only get worse after the third or fourth call of the day. 

Have I always looked this hideous, I wonder? Have my eyes always been this beady? Why does everyone else look so far away? What if I stand across the room? What if I fix my background? What if I just hang up? 

Zoom is ruining what little focus I already had, and instead of paying attention to my colleagues, I find myself criticizing every pore on what I now see as my very wrinkled face. And yes, I’ve tried turning off the camera and fixing the background and running away to a new town to start a new life, but nothing works. Zoom is simply not the way my brain is used to communicating and it’s what I hate the most about the apocalypse (so far).

2. Conversations About My Bangs

Yes, I have bangs. And yes, I talk about them incessantly. But no, I do not trim them myself. And no, I do not plan on cutting them during the pandemic either. So please, stop sharing your bang memes with me, and please, stop bringing them up in conversations like they’re your problem. If you’ve ever grown out your bangs (which I have done MULTIPLE times - I was basically born trimming and/or growing out my bangs), you know it’s an absolute nightmare and that you’re already self-conscious and frustrated enough. The last thing I or any of my fellow bang-rocking comrades need is someone calling attention to them during the apocalypse like there’s anything we can do about it. 

Think of it like this: It’s OK for your friend to complain about her own bitchy sister, but it’s definitely not OK for you to do it. My bangs are like my bitchy sister; I can bring them up, but you cannot. 

3. Thursdays

Thursdays used to be my favorite day of the week. Ever since college, I’ve always viewed them as my gateway to the weekend. Unfortunately, now that I no longer have anything to look forward to on the weekends, Thursdays have become a hassle, a memory of what once was, and the day each week when I could crumble at any moment because life is over and there is no point in carrying on. 

I’m not being dramatic. You are. 

In any case, my Thursday could easily be your Monday or your Wednesday. It’s whatever day of the week you hit your monotonous breaking point. One day you’re fine and the next you’re a shell of a woman drinking Prosecco alone on the bathroom floor, wishing you could get a pedicure and willing your child to stop calling your name. For me, that day typically falls on a Thursday.

4. People Doing Too Much

Pre-apocalypse, people were on social media attempting to one-up one their friends with vacations, outings, and concerts. Mid-apocalypse, and people are trying to outdo their friends with painted ceilings, organized closets, and organic gardens. We get it already. You’re staying busy. You’re still doing things. You haven’t vanished yet. We see you.  

My favorite posts from the apocalypse are actually those that involve self-deprecating binging in the form of TV, movies, food, or booze. These are my people. Because while yes, I have gotten a few things done around the house that I have been putting off for a long, long time, does anyone other than me (and maybe Rod) really give a shit?

Then again, I write a blog that I share and desperately want you to read because I want to be seen too…

Actually, never mind this one. I get it. 

5. A Lack of Grace

I realize this is coming right after the one about the losers posting their home makeovers on social media, but that was all in good fun. I once posted a picture of an overcooked chicken breast next to some wilted broccoli like I had just served my family a good meal. Who am I to judge? 

No, this last one should be taken a lot more seriously than my sad attempt at a dinner post on the Gram. Because if the apocalypse has taught me one thing - hell, if the past four years have taught me one thing - it’s that most people cannot, even for one minute, stop and recognize the plight of others.

Just like before the pandemic, people are working through things we know nothing about. While one person may be an essential employee processing feelings of anxiety, another may be a mother struggling to find time for e-learning with her three children. Should the essential employee tell the mother she’s lucky she doesn’t have a job to go to outside the home? No. Should the mother tell the essential employee to get over her anxiety because she doesn’t have kids to worry about? Also, no. What both of these fictional characters should do is show the other a little grace because no one struggle is bigger than the other.

So give your friend, neighbor, colleague, postal worker, pharmacist, cashier, nurse, teacher, stylist, and everyone in between, a break. As my son would say, “I’ve got a lot going on in my life right now.” And isn’t that true for all of us?

Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Kate Morgan

I will never tell anyone how to live their lives. As long as you are kind to strangers and tip your server, I honestly don’t care what you do. But sometimes, and especially now, you know, when our lives have been reduced to sweat pants, Zoom calls, e-learning, and fewer quarantine naps than we had anticipated, we need someone to tell us how to live; someone to give us tips for how to create a new apocalyptic routine.  

In the past several weeks, I have learned a few things that have helped me adjust to life at home and prevented me from completely losing my mind. Perhaps these tricks might work for you, too. And, if not, just remember to tip at least 20% once you’re finally able to return to a restaurant.

1. Exercise.

About six weeks ago, I finally bought the treadmill I have been eyeing for the last several months. Talk about timing. Every morning, before Van gets up and the majority of emails start flooding in, I run for at least 45 minutes. It’s. The. Best.

I’ve written before about how important exercise is to me, but now, when all hope is gone and my endorphins are running particularly low, a morning workout has become more essential than ever. And don’t worry, I’ll spare you the “pics or it didn’t happen” posts. Just trust me.

2. Create a schedule and stick to it 70% of the time.

Yes, I exercise every day and yes, I try to do it first thing in the morning, but sometimes I put it off until 9:30 a.m. and catch up on emails first. Most days I do an activity or e-learning with Van from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. Some days though, we don’t start until 1. Regardless, I know I have a set number of hours each day for me, a set number of hours each day for Van, and a set number of hours each day for work. Most of the time, I stick to the schedule. It helps me both establish and commit to daily goals, which in turn helps me feel like an actual human being. The key to this one though is not beating myself up the other 30% of the time when the day doesn’t go exactly as planned.

3. Do your hair and makeup.

Yes, ladies, I know you’re pulling your messy buns tighter and hissing at me from afar on this one, but hear me out. Years ago, when I was first on maternity leave and I couldn’t quite figure out who I was as a woman or who I was supposed to be as a new Mom, I learned the key to my sanity was mascara and a good flat iron. I could be wearing pajama bottoms and a top covered in spit-up and as long as my hair and makeup were done, I still felt like a boss who could handle her shit. And I did.

Eight years later and I’m doing it again, minus the spit-up, in the same pajama bottoms and worn T-shirts my colleagues can’t see via Zoom anyway. Just like keeping a schedule, doing my hair and makeup provides me with the necessary normalcy to get me through my day. Try it. You might like it.   

4. Wear shoes.

I know people hate wearing shoes in their homes and strongly recommend against it, but I’ve noticed that I am far more productive sitting in front of my computer when I’ve taken the time to strap shoes on my feet. And I’m not talking heels here. Come on, I’ve already recommended you do your hair and makeup on a daily basis – I don’t want to lose readers during the pandemic – but flats and tennis shoes work just fine, and always keep me on my toes (yeah, yeah, I know).

5. Plan a cocktail hour.

Every day at 5 p.m., Rod and I share a cocktail or two after the technical work day is done. I look forward to this all day, and it’s the one part of my schedule I keep 100% of the time. Sure, the only thing we have to talk about is friggin COVID-19, but at least we’re talking (and drinking) every single day.

6. Buy flowers.

Although most florists are no longer open, inexpensive bouquets are still available in most grocery stores and I strongly recommend picking up one or two on your next essential visit. Hey, if you’re already at the store picking up milk, why not bring home something to brighten your space a bit too? After all, your hair and makeup shouldn’t be the only beautiful things in your home.

Thursday, April 2, 2020
Kate Morgan

It’s now 8:35 p.m. and I’m wrapping up my third beer of the night after learning Indiana schools have been closed for the remainder of the academic year. Like so many of you, I’m only three weeks into the pandemic and I’m STRUGGLING. To find out I have (at least) two more months working from home while e-learning with my child is a both unreal and devastating. To say I wasn’t cut out for this is an understatement. I have no idea what I’m doing as a mother. Truth be told, I never have. I’m winging this shit every damn day, so at least there’s one constant in my life.